The Best of the Worst Country Songs

[fathershark]

1) Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
2) Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
3) Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
4) Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
5) I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
6) I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
7) I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
8) I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
9) I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
10) I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
11) If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
12) Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
13) She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
14) They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
15) Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
16) You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
17) You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
18) You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
19) If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

[Lounge Act]

are these real songs?

[fathershark]

apparantly. But, it's not really important......

[Firecracker]

I found that as I was reading those titles in my head, I threw in a little ol' country jingle and it actually worked.

[fathershark]

it works even better if you start line dancing and alternating between chewing tobacco and beef jerky.

[Firecracker]

Beef jerky is the most revolting thing anyone has ever made.

[fathershark]

well, other than when God made the menstrual cycle, certainly.

[Firecracker]

yes, that can be thrown into the 'rejected attempts at evolution' bin also.

[fathershark]

I'm not at all sure that the human race is evolving. Incidences involing diseases that we are genetically disposed to seem to be on the rise, and there is a f*cking maniac like Alan Jones ruling over Sydney breakfast radio.

[Tiberius]

Alan Jones isn't human though.

[Firecracker]

That's true, however we do make huge advancements in the cure for some rotten diseases. It's just not enough... and people have to die. It's a given.
There is always going to be some disease that comes to kick us while we are down.
Evolution, big bang theory, god... or whatever. We are not as superior as we like to think we are.

I am hoping that menstruation is a glitch in the evolutionary process and that in 2 years (not 2,000) women are able to lose cells in other ways and never have to be uncomfortable again!

[HeadingEast]

Alan jones is the devil, if you watch him on the today show, not rewinding, not fastforwarding, but playing at normal speed you will find that he is actually the devil, having horns and a pointy stick thingy (its early int he morning, i cant think what it is again)

[HeadingEast]

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