Post by erishkegal on Jul 3, 2002 18:35:43 GMT 10
Q: What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
A: Sir.
Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?
A: Anything you want, it can't hear you.
Q: Why do elephants drink so much?
A: To try to forget.
Q: What's gray, yellow, gray, yellow, gray, yellow, gray, yellow, gray, yellow, gray, yellow?
A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!
Q: Why did the Elephant stand on the marshmallow?
A: So she wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate.
Q: How do you get down from an elephant?
A: You don't, you get down from a duck.
Q: Why is an elephant big, gray, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.
Q: What's gray and white on the inside and red on the outside?
A: An inside out elephant.
Q: What's gray and white on the inside and red and white on the outside?
A: Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup.
Q: What is gray and not there.
A: No elephants.
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Ever seen a yellow elephant?!!!
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: A native eating cherries.
Q: How did Tarzan die?
A: Picking cherries.
Q: What's the fastest thing in the jungle?
A: A monkey carrying a bunch of cherries.
Q: How do you get an elephant to sit on a cherry tree?
A: Plant a seed and let the elephant stand on it.
Q: How does an elephant get down from a cherry tree?
A: It doesn't, it gets down from a duck.
Q: How do you get an elephant out of a tree?
A: Stand it on a leaf and wait 'till autumn (or wait for parachute practice.)
Q: Why do elephants wear springs on their feet?
A: So they can jump up in trees and rape monkeys.
Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.
Q: What's the biggest drawback of the jungle?
A: An elephant's foreskin.
Q: Heard of the wallet made of elephant foreskin?
A: When you rub it, it turns into a briefcase.
Q: How many legs does an elephant have?
A: Four, two in the front, two in the back.
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken's day off.
Q: What was the elephant doing on the motorway?
A: About 8kph
Q: How do you know if you pass an elephant?
A: You can't get the toilet seat down.
Q: How do you get an elephant into a VW?
A: Open the car door, put the elephant inside, close the door.
Q: What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?
A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.
Q: How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
A: Open the VW door, take the elephant out, close the VW door, open the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.
Q: How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagen bug?
A: 2 in the front and 2 in the back
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge?
A: Footprints in the butter.
Q: How do you know if there are 2 elephants in your fridge?
A: Two sets of footprints in the butter.
Q: How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your fridge?
A: Can't get the fridge door closed.
Q: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?
A: There's a VW bug parked outside it.
Q: How do you get Tarzan in the fridge?
A: Open door, get two VW's out, put Tarzan in, close door.
A: Sir.
Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?
A: Anything you want, it can't hear you.
Q: Why do elephants drink so much?
A: To try to forget.
Q: What's gray, yellow, gray, yellow, gray, yellow, gray, yellow, gray, yellow, gray, yellow?
A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!
Q: Why did the Elephant stand on the marshmallow?
A: So she wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate.
Q: How do you get down from an elephant?
A: You don't, you get down from a duck.
Q: Why is an elephant big, gray, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.
Q: What's gray and white on the inside and red on the outside?
A: An inside out elephant.
Q: What's gray and white on the inside and red and white on the outside?
A: Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup.
Q: What is gray and not there.
A: No elephants.
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Ever seen a yellow elephant?!!!
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: A native eating cherries.
Q: How did Tarzan die?
A: Picking cherries.
Q: What's the fastest thing in the jungle?
A: A monkey carrying a bunch of cherries.
Q: How do you get an elephant to sit on a cherry tree?
A: Plant a seed and let the elephant stand on it.
Q: How does an elephant get down from a cherry tree?
A: It doesn't, it gets down from a duck.
Q: How do you get an elephant out of a tree?
A: Stand it on a leaf and wait 'till autumn (or wait for parachute practice.)
Q: Why do elephants wear springs on their feet?
A: So they can jump up in trees and rape monkeys.
Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.
Q: What's the biggest drawback of the jungle?
A: An elephant's foreskin.
Q: Heard of the wallet made of elephant foreskin?
A: When you rub it, it turns into a briefcase.
Q: How many legs does an elephant have?
A: Four, two in the front, two in the back.
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken's day off.
Q: What was the elephant doing on the motorway?
A: About 8kph
Q: How do you know if you pass an elephant?
A: You can't get the toilet seat down.
Q: How do you get an elephant into a VW?
A: Open the car door, put the elephant inside, close the door.
Q: What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?
A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.
Q: How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
A: Open the VW door, take the elephant out, close the VW door, open the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.
Q: How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagen bug?
A: 2 in the front and 2 in the back
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge?
A: Footprints in the butter.
Q: How do you know if there are 2 elephants in your fridge?
A: Two sets of footprints in the butter.
Q: How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your fridge?
A: Can't get the fridge door closed.
Q: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?
A: There's a VW bug parked outside it.
Q: How do you get Tarzan in the fridge?
A: Open door, get two VW's out, put Tarzan in, close door.
, I haven't even read most of them........
