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Post by Muzzy Pepped on Jun 27, 2002 0:34:06 GMT 10
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor slapped yo' mama!
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Post by erishkegal on Jul 3, 2002 17:50:54 GMT 10
In a city park stood two beautiful statues, one female and the other male -- both nude. These two statues faced each other for many, many years naked.
Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "The two of you have been truly exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people that have visited the park over the years. I am hereby authorized by God to give you the greatest wish that can be bestowed on you. I grant you
the gift of life -- albeit as a limited offer. You have 30 minutes to do whatever your hearts desire."
And with that command, the two statues came to life.
They smiled at each other, slowly moved their limbs about in wonderment, looked all around and then at their own bodies and finally back at each other.
Still smiling they then ran to the nearby woods and dived behind a large bush.
The angel smiled to herself as she listened to the giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. Even angels knew of such things!
After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, looking extremely satisfied and wearing nothing but even bigger smiles than before.
Puzzled, the angel looked at her watch and said to them, "You still have fifteen minutes. Wouldn't you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
"OH, YES!", the female statue replied. "But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll s*it on it's head!"
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Post by TheAstronaut on Jul 4, 2002 10:09:09 GMT 10
canadian man : turn 15 degrees south
american man : YOU turn 15 degrees south
canadian man : sir im telling you to turn 15 degrees south
american : i am commander of this boat! you will turn 15 degrees south
canadian : im in a lighthouse you moron
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