Post by WithoutWords on Sept 20, 2002 15:58:18 GMT 10
As a parent, we understand your concern about transnational corporations advertising food products to our young kiddies. That's why Fungrys pride ourselves on being the first to respond to trends in the ever-changing world of diet, nutrition and children's spending patterns.
And that's why we at Fungrys take health warnings and class actions very seriously.
Remember when they said smoking was bad for you?
In response, Fungrys banned smoking in all our stores and withdrew all our smoked pork products from our range. We know how much our patrons who smoke loved our smoked pork.
Then when the Health Council reported that meat and fat caused congestive heart failure, we at Fungrys responded by reducing the amount of meat and fat available in our burgers and fries. By reducing the percentage of meat and Triglycerides (that's bad fats — not like the good fats that are in Fungry's Bac’n’ Shakes™), Fungrys continues to provide you with healthy and convenient foods.
That's the Fungry's Guarantee.™†
‘So,’ we hear you cry, ‘by removing the meat and fat, how do we keep that delicious Fungrys Flavour™?’<br>
We’re glad you asked. While fat and meat might taste great, other organic products can replace those things, like good old-fashioned salt. At Fungrys, we are constantly thinking of your health and convenience.
Like when we posted a member of our security forces at every door when those nasty anti-globalisation protesters were preventing ordinary families from enjoying their Fungrys French Pickle Fries.™<br>
Or when we introduced tasty meat substitutes‡ for vegetarians and people of non-omnivourous practices. Everyone has the right to eat when and how much they choose. So the next time you and your buddies from the Third World are looking for a healthy meat alternative, just bring them along to the all-you-can-eat Fungrys Vegetarian Pig Out.™ It's Offralicious!™<br>
Mmmm, I’m Fungry!
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* Fungries takes no responsibility for people who ask for extra salt, sauce or topping with their Fungrys poduct. We only ask if you want fries with that, you accept.
† Fungrys takes no responsibility for guarentees made by its marketing representatives.
‡ Warning: people taking Ritalin should consult their doctor before eating at Fungrys.
for more fungry action go to: www.cnnnn.com
And that's why we at Fungrys take health warnings and class actions very seriously.
Remember when they said smoking was bad for you?
In response, Fungrys banned smoking in all our stores and withdrew all our smoked pork products from our range. We know how much our patrons who smoke loved our smoked pork.
Then when the Health Council reported that meat and fat caused congestive heart failure, we at Fungrys responded by reducing the amount of meat and fat available in our burgers and fries. By reducing the percentage of meat and Triglycerides (that's bad fats — not like the good fats that are in Fungry's Bac’n’ Shakes™), Fungrys continues to provide you with healthy and convenient foods.
That's the Fungry's Guarantee.™†
‘So,’ we hear you cry, ‘by removing the meat and fat, how do we keep that delicious Fungrys Flavour™?’<br>
We’re glad you asked. While fat and meat might taste great, other organic products can replace those things, like good old-fashioned salt. At Fungrys, we are constantly thinking of your health and convenience.
Like when we posted a member of our security forces at every door when those nasty anti-globalisation protesters were preventing ordinary families from enjoying their Fungrys French Pickle Fries.™<br>
Or when we introduced tasty meat substitutes‡ for vegetarians and people of non-omnivourous practices. Everyone has the right to eat when and how much they choose. So the next time you and your buddies from the Third World are looking for a healthy meat alternative, just bring them along to the all-you-can-eat Fungrys Vegetarian Pig Out.™ It's Offralicious!™<br>
Mmmm, I’m Fungry!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* Fungries takes no responsibility for people who ask for extra salt, sauce or topping with their Fungrys poduct. We only ask if you want fries with that, you accept.
† Fungrys takes no responsibility for guarentees made by its marketing representatives.
‡ Warning: people taking Ritalin should consult their doctor before eating at Fungrys.
for more fungry action go to: www.cnnnn.com