Why?

[Tiberius]

Well yeah, that sounds nice in theory.

But, to illustrate:

Guys, which of the following two women do you find more attractive?



or



Now let's assume for the moment that they are both highly intelligent, have warm personalities, and have a sense of humour, which one is going to do it for you more?

[Firecracker]

Smart ass. ;D

The first girl: she is definitely a lot less attractive than the 'Bring it On girl'. But I am just trying to say that if you loved the first girl, you would find her a LOT more attractive than you do right now.

Don't believe me?

[Tiberius]

No, I believe you, and maybe it's different with everybody (eye of the beholder thingie). In fact, there may be some guys who find the first woman attractive..... possibly.

But there's different types of love. There's (1) the love you have for your family, (2) the love you have for your friends, and (3) the love you have for your lover. The third type of love has an erotic component to it, and call me slightly shallow (but hey I wouldn't be the only one to think this) I couldn't see myself developing love # 3 for the first person in the pictures above. I could develop love # 2 for her, but that would be it.

[Kristy]

Ok i'm not denying that certain people 'do it for you more' but is that all there is to it? All those photos show is that yes initally it is usually about looks for most people, but if blah blah blah what i already said. Made my point too tired.

Oh and maybe if everyone rules people out based on looks straight away, they will miss out on a lot of great people if that makes sense. I'm guilty of it as well, sure wish i wasn't, cuz it is absoulety no way to judge people.

[WithoutWords]

that woman in the first picture looks like she's having the time of her life . . . .

yeah, we judge on looks, go figure

but im not saying its right or anything

and if you dont find someone at all physically attractive a long term relationship with them would ultimately unsuccessful, unless it was on a friend level

i do though agree with the point that if you love someone you then find the more attractive


and thats all i have to say about that

[singingcirclesaway]

Crimson said:

I think that you can fall in love with someone who you don't find attractive, but then they become attractive because you love them.
Think about it... everyone thinks that they have the hottest friends.

Personally, I never find people attractive until I get to know them. I know it sounds odd... but it's the truth.

that's exactly how i feel.
prime example: the guy i love now. when we first met, he was sitting at his computer, and he didn't have his belt on. when he stood up, his pants fell down, revealing *really* daggy undies. i laughed and thought he was a complete dork (and not really all that attractive). then i spoke to him, found out we had similar interests, and i actually appreciated his company. i thought about him the entire week, and when we met again, i wanted to jump him. i now think he is the sexiest thing i've ever met, and even his daggy undies are somewhat sexy.

i've never dated someone based on their looks. ever. some people do. yay for them. i've always dated someone i can see myself with beyond next week, someone with a brain, someone that i have fun with. then they become sexy. damn sexy at that.

then again, i've never really felt connected to really fat, ugly people. but, i can't even think of any i know. no one is ugly as long as someone finds them attractive, yes?

i'm sure i had a point somewhere in there.

[TheAstronaut]

i think your a little wrong Mark with the photos - there are more than two 'categories' for women to be in. not all are either skinny and wearing makeup etc (by the way, ur comparing 2 ppl obviously 10 years different in age)

[Kristy]

Yes it was a little simplistic, let's remember that actress has probably had a few hours preparation and i seriously doubt that a choice between two people would come down to looks because their personalities were exactly the same, it simply wouldn't happen.

[Tiberius]

Yes it is a simplistic hypothetical. What I'm asking though is that is it wrong to state that while you could fall in love with the first person in a mental sense, you could never fall in love with the first person in a sexual sense?

And another simplistic hypothetical from the other perspective, girls, which of the following men do you find most attractive? Which one makes you go 'rowr' the most?



or




Of course it can't JUST be about looks. But is it so wrong to say that looks are PART of the equation?

[WithoutWords]

well . . . . . .

in this little scenario it's quite obviosuly paul, i mean you have eyes dont you? plus we know his a bit of a thinker

so yes, you've proven your point, but i agreed with it initially, but what it really comes down to is, whatever floats your boat, whatever keeps you happy and so on and so forth

[Firecracker]

I think Paul Dempsey is hot because he writes great lyrics and as without words said, he is a thinker.

I think Alanis is hot because she writes great lyrics that I can relate to.

Are these people really hot? Probably not.
Would I find them attractive if I didn't relate to them? No.

But the difference between Mark and I is that I don't find anyone attractive (or that 'does it for me') until I get to know them.
I can see that one person is obviously more attractive than the other... but I never feel sexual towards them until I reallyknow them.

(Most of my friends aren't like this so it may be a rare, weird thing. I guess I'm not a 'one-night-stand type of girl'.)

Sparky: lol @ your bf's pants falling down! that is the funniest thing ever. I'll be giggling about that through my entire exams. hehe, daggy undies.

[Tiberius]

That's an interesting philosophy to have. See, I think Alanis and Paul are physically attractive in spite of their intelligence and song writing abilities. Their creative and intellectual capacity is a different level of attractiveness.

But yeah, falling for someone on the basis of looks alone is not a good thing. I've been there/done that. She was like talking to a brick wall. A beautiful brick wall, but a brick wall all the same.

[Kristy]

Maybe it is different for everyone, i always assumed it wasn't. But for yes initally looks are important, it's probaly what gets me interested *most* of the time in the begining, but there have been other times as well. And in a perfect world maybe we would get 'the whole package' i.e. attracted to someone, get to know them actually click etc. I'm probably rambling, but if i think someone is goregous then i get to know them and they are a total arse then i can't see them as gorgegous anymore. I seriously doubt i would stop and take notice of Paul if i saw him walking down the street.

[WithoutWords]

i dont find him attractive becasue his a thinker, thats just another level of attraction

i was just demonstrating that i find him somewhat attractive in different ways

[Firecracker]

same here.