Post by larry emdur is my hero! on Jun 19, 2002 11:15:19 GMT 10
There was a second knock on the door. I decided to make the journey myself, but first I had to gain the co-operation of my legs. I tried screaming at them to walk, but they wouldn't respond. "Why wont you walk!" I yelled. "Answer me!".
"We are just human legs," they replied, "human legs can't talk, how can we answer if we can't talk". The legs had a point. The left one had a voice that sounded suspiciously like Sinatra. My attention was momentarily diverted from the recalcitrant nature of my limbs to the discovery of the coffee table hanging upside down from the roof. Was this my legs playing tricks on me? I wouldn't put it past them. Or had I, in my drunken state, mistakenly fallen asleep on the ceiling? The second idea was plausible. The room had been rotating quite regularly when I'd returned the previous night, so much so that I couldn't find the light switch. Finding your wallet in a dark, spinning room is not the easiest of tasks I've had to achieve. Besides, why would my legs want me to sleep on the roof? They too had to walk up here. As devious and scheming as they are, there is one thing that they are certainly not - and that is stupid.
There was a third knock on the door. Three knocks means something serious. It takes a surprising amount of will power and self-belief to allow ones self to fall from the ceiling - answering these three knocks was obviously going to take a lot of effort. An effort worthy of a team. I learnt early in life that there certainly was no "I" in team . Having just discovered there aren't any "legs" in team either, I closed my eyes, and clawed my way down the wall. This is an act that requires extreme caution, you never can be too sure that room will stay stationary. Luckily I have been in this situation many a time before.
I finally reached the door and let my guests in. Two male alligators entered, each carrying briefcases and wearing black suits. Their presence made me feel rather awkward - I had not known this meeting was to be of a formal nature. I hope these reptiles wouldn't hold a prejudice against my casual form of clothing. The creature on the right had his tie slightly ajar, must be feeling the heat, very understandable - they are used to living in water. I asked them if they would like to join me in the hot tub. The one on the right seemed vaguely interested. His partner however was reluctant, perhaps not wanting to bathe with a creature with such poor dress standards. Despite what is advertised, iron free chinos are not the item of clothing for every occasion. It was only then I noticed the briefcases they held were made of Alligator skins. "We are from the estate of Hunter S. Thompson" the left one growled, "We demand you accompany us to the bar immediately" Fearing some form of action, I called out to my lawyer for legal advice, but he was strangely silent.
:cheers:
"We are just human legs," they replied, "human legs can't talk, how can we answer if we can't talk". The legs had a point. The left one had a voice that sounded suspiciously like Sinatra. My attention was momentarily diverted from the recalcitrant nature of my limbs to the discovery of the coffee table hanging upside down from the roof. Was this my legs playing tricks on me? I wouldn't put it past them. Or had I, in my drunken state, mistakenly fallen asleep on the ceiling? The second idea was plausible. The room had been rotating quite regularly when I'd returned the previous night, so much so that I couldn't find the light switch. Finding your wallet in a dark, spinning room is not the easiest of tasks I've had to achieve. Besides, why would my legs want me to sleep on the roof? They too had to walk up here. As devious and scheming as they are, there is one thing that they are certainly not - and that is stupid.
There was a third knock on the door. Three knocks means something serious. It takes a surprising amount of will power and self-belief to allow ones self to fall from the ceiling - answering these three knocks was obviously going to take a lot of effort. An effort worthy of a team. I learnt early in life that there certainly was no "I" in team . Having just discovered there aren't any "legs" in team either, I closed my eyes, and clawed my way down the wall. This is an act that requires extreme caution, you never can be too sure that room will stay stationary. Luckily I have been in this situation many a time before.
I finally reached the door and let my guests in. Two male alligators entered, each carrying briefcases and wearing black suits. Their presence made me feel rather awkward - I had not known this meeting was to be of a formal nature. I hope these reptiles wouldn't hold a prejudice against my casual form of clothing. The creature on the right had his tie slightly ajar, must be feeling the heat, very understandable - they are used to living in water. I asked them if they would like to join me in the hot tub. The one on the right seemed vaguely interested. His partner however was reluctant, perhaps not wanting to bathe with a creature with such poor dress standards. Despite what is advertised, iron free chinos are not the item of clothing for every occasion. It was only then I noticed the briefcases they held were made of Alligator skins. "We are from the estate of Hunter S. Thompson" the left one growled, "We demand you accompany us to the bar immediately" Fearing some form of action, I called out to my lawyer for legal advice, but he was strangely silent.
:cheers:
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