My little poem

[Emrys]

Heres a little poem I knocked up,
tell me what you think about it, what images & feelings grow in your mind while reading it, just basicly what you think.


Last Breath

The weights,
They pull him down,
Underneath the waves,
Away from the Sun,
That he longs to see again.

He struggles,
But the last breath of hope fades,
And sinks to the bottom,
Blue-faced, arms swaying, ever reaching,
Towards the Sun,

That his blank eyes will never see again.

[TheAstronaut]

good poem dude

first thought was a guy being pulled underwater by something, then one of those people with a heavy ball chained to their leg and snking.

but thats just me

[somethingforkaty]

It made me think of this really old movie i saw about Houdini, and how he did a stunt where he was dropped into a hole in the ice locked in a big trunk.

He got out of the trunk but nearly died because the current dragged him and he couldn't find the hole in the ice where he was meant to get out.

[Emrys]

thanks you two,
come on people, i need to know what you all think, tell me, not just the picture it creates, but what you tink its about, or what emotion it stirs in you. just post a little comment please.

[singingcirclesaway]

sir yes sir.

two things: it sort of makes me feel like this person is being pulled under by the pressures of life, into depression or something. and also, the obvious, that this person is being pulled underwater and is dying.

that enough?

[Tiberius]

It made me think of drowning under the ocean, and hopeless in life, and having regrets.

Happy stuff.

[dirtgirl]

Tiberius said:

It made me think of drowning under the ocean, and hopeless in life, and having regrets.

Happy stuff.

snap