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Post by fathershark on Mar 29, 2004 7:21:07 GMT 10
That's not true.
I honestly believe that with conviction and help from people that care from you, people can overcome just about any obstacle. And it's worth hanging on and getting past how you feel at the moment.
I know this for a fact, having been seconds away from topping myself.
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Confused
beautiful shark
EVERY ANGEL HAS A HALO...every halo has an angel
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Post by Confused on Mar 29, 2004 16:21:35 GMT 10
Things will get better, you just have to have the willpower to make them so. No, I'm not just some random bullshitter, I actually know what I'm talking about and I know that if you care enough for something (ie: your life) you can protect it. Sometimes you feel like nothing's gonna get better... you find yourself thinking: "Well, what's the fucking point?! I'm gonna die anyway, why bother delaying it??" It just so happens that things do get better (even if you are adament that they won't) sometimes you have to put an extra amount of effort in to making them so, sometimes it just happens... you wake up one day and think to yourself, "wow! I'm feeling really great today" and that one day turns into a week, a fortnight, a month... before you know it, you're enjoying every day of life. A very wise (now ex) friend of mine told me when I was on the verge of killing myself after my friend killed herself, that life is a test. When you die, you get graded according to how you lived your life. If you kill yourself (no matter what age you are) you fail instantly. You get a big fat O on your "paper" and that's it, no second chances... just like with other exams and such. You don't get a second chance at life... so you need to make the most of this one. (I should really take my own advice sometimes  ) Anyhoo, I've gone off-track. Sparklle... you have a life, live it. Some poor person died at birth and was unlucky enough to be unable to live a life... you survived birth and you've made it thus far, obviously you have a purpose in life. You can't find and reach your purpose if you're dead (ie: don't kill yourself, your time will come soon enough). With the cutting, another alternative is to put an ice cube on your skin where you were going to cut and press it into your skin... the "burning" sensation of the ice gives off some "pain" and it helps where the cutting would but without the awful scar. Or flick an elastic band around your wrist (although I found this alternative left a red rash type thing on my wrist and on my worser days I got blisters  ). Sorry for taking three hours of your time up, but I have an inability to put things simply. Take care of all of yourselves (even the people who don't cut)... you all mean so much to everyone else  |
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Post by Tiberius on Mar 29, 2004 21:30:53 GMT 10
That's not true. I honestly believe that with conviction and help from people that care from you, people can overcome just about any obstacle. And it's worth hanging on and getting past how you feel at the moment. I know this for a fact, having been seconds away from topping myself. I completely agree. And it's what the doctor I was seeing when my OCD was really bad 10 years ago said. He said you'll only get better when you commit yourself to make a change and get better. Until then, no one can help you unless you're willing to do everything to change. As for cutting, I've done it once for the purposes of relief maybe about 2 or 3 years ago, but it scared the shit out of me and I never did it again. I did do it when I was 13 but that was for the purpose of suicide. Obviously I wasn't successful. And it was then that I made a choice to live. I was too chickenshit to kill myself and I wasn't fond of pain, so that was that. |
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Post by back2u on Mar 30, 2004 1:14:24 GMT 10
Sparkle what's you name and how old are you, it's hard to give advice to someone of a personal nature and not be able to adress it personally.
I'm Kieran but you can call me KD or Special K at your discretion.
Anyhow, things do get progressively better, and if you are living with your parents then that usually dictates lifestyle patterns that cause problems, so look forward to independance on the horizon if nothing else.
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Post by Tiberius on Apr 2, 2004 23:31:53 GMT 10
Nah. Despite whatever has happened to you Ali, there's still too many good things in life that it would be wrong for you to leave now. You'd be cheating yourself out of your own future.
When I attempted killing myself, after failing I came to think that why should I allow myself to be beaten? There's so much I haven't done and haven't experienced and dammit, I want it!
This poem sums it up for me:
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
- Dylan Thomas
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Post by amelia on Apr 3, 2004 10:55:23 GMT 10
the only reason dying didn't stay in my mind as a solution for very long is that there are people who love me here. it wouldn't be fair on them. it doesn't end pain, it just hands it over to someone else.
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Post by Tiberius on Apr 4, 2004 15:49:29 GMT 10
So you're willing to risk hurting those who care about you?
It's the other reason I couldn't do it. I knew I'd hurt those who cared for me and I didn't have the right.
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Post by Tiberius on Apr 4, 2004 16:14:33 GMT 10
I'm sorry if what I'm about to say sounds too blunt, but as someone once said to me, "stop being so fucking morose". I've no doubt that whatever has happened to you was not good, but what are you going to do about it? Are you going to play the victim or are you going to take charge of your life? How will you get yourself out of this one?
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Post by Seasick on Apr 4, 2004 23:11:59 GMT 10
Sparklle, you have at least one talent. That piece of art you posted, it's really good. Why do you want to kill yourself when you have so much to offer? I'd like the see some more works from you. Please do some more |
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cheer up emo kid
captain
you can't relate to people so you fill your life with stuff
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Post by cheer up emo kid on Apr 4, 2004 23:55:46 GMT 10
ali i cant think of a single thing to say to make you feel better, but i can say i think you're very brave to say that openly.
i think you're feelings are justified, by no means doesnt that say i think you should act on them, but its not wrong to want to disappear for ever.
im sorry i cant do anything else
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Post by Tiberius on Apr 5, 2004 0:03:11 GMT 10
Ok, that is horrible Ali, and I’m sorry that happened to you.
Are you seeing a psychologist? I’d imagine that a professional would be the best person to talk to after something terrible like that.
But I stand by what I said before. Don’t kill yourself. If you do then you let them win and you have too much potential for greater things to allow that to happen.
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Post by back2u on Apr 5, 2004 2:23:55 GMT 10
Wow, Ali you really must feel dead inside, having something like that happen to you can absolutely break your spirit. Two of my sisters were molested when they were young by one of my mother's church friends. So I have some idea what you are going through, one of my sisters and I talk openly on a regular basis about her fears and problems as a result of it and we have done so since I was younger, it was only in the last year that that sister confronted my mother about it. The other sister still lives in denial about the whole thing but even her husband has quetioned her about it, because someone who tries to get close to you can discover these things without even being told.
My sister is afraid of getting close to anybody, because when she is with someone his face appears sometimes and it makes her cry, it's really horrible, more so for you because these emotions can autimatically be multiplied by four. The thing is you deserve more than that, and if you don't hold out for that something morethen it's not letting them win, because I guarantee those guys don't give a shit, they did it because they thought on some level they would get away with it, so they dont care whether you live or die, your life is a game to those animals, but you have to not give in, because otherwise all there is to your life is this emptiness an emptiness that eventually swallowed you whole. Do you really want htat to be a summation of you life Ali?
I think you are worth more than that!
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Post by back2u on Apr 5, 2004 2:35:41 GMT 10
And that's how the asshole gets his power over you, by placing it into your head that you are abhorrent and worthless.
Give us his adress and we'll send a few blokes around to show him evil.
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Post by fathershark on Apr 5, 2004 7:18:06 GMT 10
Ali, you are among friends. Please don't self censor yourself. Everything you say and feel is valid, and we just want to help.
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Post by amelia on Apr 5, 2004 7:46:36 GMT 10
I'm not so sure I'm really worth anything.. I've been told I was evil my whole life by him. something else that helped me through what i was going through was the knowledge that even though i couldn't see what i was worth, other people could. i knew my freinds aren't stupid. i knew that if they didn't have a reason to, they wouldn't have bothered with me. and even if it's just a start - look at the people here. do you think they would bother even attempting to help you and talk to you if they thought you were so worthless you deserved to die? i'm sorry. but these people here are highly intellegent people... even though you can't trust yourself, trust them. us. you can get through it. get professional help. talk to your freinds. My best freind a few years ago was dealing with something similar to what you're dealing with. when she cut, it felt like she was cutting me. when she said that she wanted to suicide, it felt like she'd said she wanted to kill me. so yeah, you're right. you have been hurting the people who love you and who you love. but i didn't stop loving her. and if they love you, they wont stop either. so don't kill them too. |
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